16/02/2014

Sometimes you need to make the tough decisions in your life that you are scared to face. My life recently has exposed some toxic friends and really showing me how little they value or respect our friendship. I'm not a mean person by any means, I am a grumpy one at times I admit but not mean or nasty. I value my friendships and go out of my way to help people. 

The other night I seemd to have a fight with a friend because she couldn't decide on plans. I said don't worry about it as I had been attempting to make plans with her for five hours already. I don't want people to just fit me in. I shouldn't come after everything in your life. If you are too busy or don't know when you are free,  don't make plans with me. It doesn't matter if you want to see me if your not going to follow through. Make plans with me when you are free. Even if I love and adore you it doesn't make it hurt less that I am not important enough to make solid plans with. 

There are other people too who I seem to make a lot of effort for. Not because I feel the need to but because I actually like them and thought we were friends. However when if becomes clear that you wouldn't do something that I wouldn't think twice about for you, that we aren't actually friends. 

My so called friends have started to make me anxious to be around them. I'm not excited to see them anymore. I have become isolated and feel alone in a room full of my 'group'.  I need to get away from them, all of them. It's not good for my mental and psychical health to be around people to treat me like this. 

Rant over. 

I would love them to read this and know that they are hurting me more and more every day. 

02/01/14

So a whole day in the new year has passed. Wow. That went by so fast. The new years eve party was fun but there was also a lot drama. I am over the drama I don't understand and just want everyone to be happto just get along. I don't want back stabbing, gossip and stupidity to ruin friendships that are clearly strong enough to last after high school. I'm glad for some of the friends in my life but then I also think how some of them aren't making me happy anymore. 

I have is many hops and dreams for 2014 since 2013 was a horrible year for me. So I hope to stay inspired and be motivated to change my life. This is. The year I become the woman I have always dreamed of being. The little girl who imagine how life will be when she is in her twenties will be proud of me. Haha 

Xx